15
Jul
08

government to bail out music industry

Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) today announced an initiative in the House of Representatives that would bail out the failing music labels and once again make recordings on vinyl and compact disc a viable option.

The proposed initiative, co-sponsored by Representative Jack Murtha (D-PA), would set up a government sponsored record label – Federal Record Industry Music Recording Company (or Freddie Merc). The proposal is intended to bail out the failing music industry, which has been suffering from declines in CD and vinyl music sales while lesser revenue generating MP3 downloads are on the rise.

“We should not be held responsible for this runaway public shift toward purchasing and downloading single tracks via Amazon, iTunes or other music sites,” said Universal CEO Doug Morris. “The artist acquisition, marketing and CD distribution methodology that we’ve been using for years still works. We’re in the mess we’re in now because of digital media speculation driving down CD sales. If the government doesn’t force a change in public behavior soon, CD sales may never bounce back.”

One of the foundations of Freddie Merc will be the expansion of vinyl and polycarbonate manufacturing, with the end goal being to produce compact discs (CDs) and vinyl records at or above 1990 levels.

Pelosi remarked, “Not only will it be good for Americans to get back to listening to their music on physical media, but this will also create millions of jobs for hard-working Americans. From manufacturing CDs and records to hiring A&R people to the resurrection of all Tower Record retail outlets – all will need to be staffed. More people buy music than homes, so if we’re going to do it for the mortgage industry…”

Not all are in favor of Freddie Merc. Amidst chants of “We will, we will rock you,” environmentalists protested the increased carbon footprint the proposal will create.

“The carbon our society is emitting is destroying the earth,” said Plimsoul Brethren, of Oxygen First! “According to Al Gore, we have 7 years, 6 months and 12 days left at our current pace. If this plan goes through, we could have less than 7 years left. Fortunately, I can do something about the polluting carbon I’m exhaling, but what about the rest of society?”

Meanwhile, Republicans in congress are also angry about the proposal.

“Nearly 95% of all major record labels are located in California or New York – blue states, both,” said Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH), “so this proposal will do nothing for the country music fans living in the red-state flyover portion of the country… yet, it’ll be they who have to pay for it.”

The proposal has a long way to go, and it is unclear whether or not President Bush will veto, but time will tell.

This is all good news for NewTunes, though, because we will probably qualify for a grant under the Freddie Merc American Needs Another Music Website Initiative (or Another One Bites the Dust).

*Since ya never know with people, I should state that everything in this post is fiction… for now, anyway. But it looks ever more possible with every day.

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