Few things are scarier than when two developers throw down their Frito bags, wipe their hands on their shirts, grab their keyboards and start rhyming. Only the hardest will stand up and watch, while most will simply scurry away in total indifference.
But that was the scene at QDB, when this classic rap battle took place. And it went something like this…
we ain’t here to do e-c-e
we’re here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b
listen to me spit these rhymes
while i program lines
and commit web accessibility crimes
You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,
But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.
I’m tracking down hosts and nmap scans,
While Code Igniter’s got you wringing your hands.
Cut the crap rap,
Or I’ll run ettercap,
Grab your AIM chat,
N’ send a PC bitch-slap!
you’re talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans
while i got other plans
you’re at your new job, but you can’t even do it right
you just create a plight with your http rewrites
i’ve been on the web since the age of three
you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi
respect yo’ elders, bitch
You’ve been webbin’ since three, but still ain’t grown up,
Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.
You say you’re that old? No wonder you’re slow!
You’re knocking at the door while I run this show!
Elders my ass, you’re shit’s still in school,
Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
Face it. I rule.
i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
all you can do is troll on the fagnets
and son, my brain’s wrapped in a nohup
it wont be hurt by the words you throwup
dont mind me while i emerge my ownage
while you’re still over there apt-getting your porridge
you say i’m still in school
but the fact is that i know the rule
cuz you need to go back to grade three
and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e
Time to bend over and apply a patch,
Your brain’s throwing static like a CD with a scratch.
Your connection got nuked and you’ve met your match.
You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.
I’d pass the torch to a real winner
But it’d just scorch a while-loop spinner
Caught in a loop that you cant escape,
I run clock cycles around your words and flows,
Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it’ blows,
Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,
Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.
Good god, I can’t even respond to that. 😛
You win haha
* http402 takes a bow
Whew. Glad no one got hurt…